It's Pavel, not kid
by KeikoHPfan
Summary: Pavel is injured during an away mission and Bones patches him up, changing things for them both. Post Into Darkness. Pre-slash. Written as a one-shot, but there could be more if requested.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters.

 **Warnings:** Slash (not graphic) / Mentions of violence

 **AN:** First Star Trek fic for me (I usually write Harry Potter and The Hobbit fics), I hope you'll like it. Please keep in mind that English isn't my first language. Let me know what you think, and if you'd like to read more? R&R please!

ST-ST-ST-ST

The kid is breathing too fast, almost panting by now, and his eyes are wide with terror. Jim is holding his arms down and whispering soothing nonsense in a soft and concerned voice, and Leonard can't help but being proud of his best friend for once. He ties the fabric around the young – too young, God damnit – ensign's thigh and then puts a calming hand over the boy's pale cheek.

"Hold on, kid, you'll be okay. I can't treat this properly right now, but as soon as we're back to the ship I'll patch you up in no time, you hear me?"

Chekov nods shakily, and Jim releases his arms, briefly tousling the golden curls before standing up and urgently whispering something to Spok. The pointy-eared first officer keeps on looking at the sky, and Leonard is fairly sure that this particular twitch of his dark eyebrows means the Vulcan is worried. And that can't be good.

Although it's not one's fault if they're stuck on that damn planet, and no one's fault if little Chekov got injured, it still feels as if they've failed him. And Leonard knows that Jim feels the same, and even Spock, as illogical as it may be. They should have protected their young navigator – hell, he shouldn't even take part to away missions like these. Too damn dangerous. And now some creepy alien creature that looked like a weird giant lizard has injured the boy, and they can't seem to be able to join the Enterprise, and fuck but Leonard needs a drink.

He sits on the cold ground next to Chekov and frowns at the boy's clammy pale skin and sweaty brow. He checks his temperature once more. It's normal, so he's probably only shocked.

"Hey, Chekov. Listen to me. You're going to be alright, you hear me? Jim and Spock, they're damn annoying, but they're the best, you know that. And I bet you anything that Sulu and Scotty are about to find a solution to beam us up real soon."

"I am cold."

"It's the blood loss." Leonard sighs and looks around. There's nothing on that damn planet, only blood red sand and cold winds, and their shelter isn't actually really one at all – only a big rock that barely shields them from the harsh blows of the sand storm. "Can you sit up for a sec, kid? Good."

Leonard slips behind Chekov, his back flush against the cold rock, and he lets his legs fall on each side of the kid's. He then carefully wraps an arm around the ensign's middle and makes him leans against his chest.

"There. Try to stay awake, kid."

The thin body in his arms is shivering helplessly and Leonard meets Jim's gaze above Chekov's head. ' _Hurry up_ ' he mouths silently, and Jim's scowl deepens.

"Pavel."

"What?"

"My name is Pavel. Not kid. Pavel."

Leonard chuckles, trying not to jostle the boy too much.

"You're still a kid to me."

"Maybe. But if I am to die here, I would like to die a man."

Shit. Chekov's voice is breathless, and his accent thicker than ever, and Leonard's chest constricts at the young Russian's words.

"You're right. But you're not going to die, Pavel. You're going to heal and go on be a genius on the bridge, you hear me?"

"I am Russian. We know when there is no hope."

"Well, with all the respect due to your country, that's bullshit. There's always hope, Pavel. You should know that after working under Jim's orders for three years."

The kid – shit, Pavel – makes an odd sort of noise at the back of his throat before turning his head slightly, the dark blond curls tickling Leonard's chin. The ensign's smile is soft and sad, his eyes are clouded with pain but still a startling dark green.

"Are you still cold?"

"No. You are very warm, Doctor."

"Len. My friends call me Len. Well, except for Jim, because he's a little shit and calls me Bones, but, you know."

"Len."

"Yeah."

"I like it."

Leonard almost rolls his eyes at himself for being ridiculously pleased with the statement, but then Pavel's head rolls on his shoulder and he's shouting at Jim to hurry the fuck up and trying to check if the boy in his arms is still breathing, and everything blurs.

ST-ST-ST-ST

His leg hurts, and his head is pounding, and his mouth feels dry and weirdly swollen. Pavel tries to will his eyelids to open and finally manages to after what seems like hours.

Wow.

Too much light. Way too much light.

There's a low rumbling chuckle beside him that feels familiar and reassuring, and Pavel cautiously opens his eyes once more.

"Hey there. You gave us quite a fright. Here, drink. Slowly, Pavel. That's enough for now."

The doctor's face slowly comes into focus and Pavel is smiling before he knows it.

"Any pain?"

"My leg. Head hurts too."

The man nods, his strong and warm hands carefully probing Pavel's newly healed leg – apparently it won't scar too badly. The hypo isn't unexpected but it doesn't make it enjoyable.

"There. I'd like to keep you here for a couple hours more, but then you'll be good to go. No work today, Ensign."

"Da, Doctor."

The brown eyes soften and the Doctor gives him once of his rare smiles.

"Len. Remember?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"What… what happened?"

"You mean after you passed out on me and nearly gave this old man an heart attack? I swear you're all going to send me to an early grave."

Pavel feels his cheeks heat without even knowing why. The doctor – Len – shakes his head with a sigh before going on.

"Well, Scotty and Sulu did whatever it is they do and managed to reestablish the communication long enough for Spock to explain the situation. Ten minutes later they beamed us up and, well, we patched you up. Apparently the sand storms messed up with our communicators – something about electro-magnetic waves or something."

Pavel only spends a few seconds thinking about the possibilities before forcing his mind to go back to the present.

"Everyone'll be happy to know you're okay."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Just doin' my job."

Pavel watches the muscles of Len's back play under his shirt as he turns around to check the monitor and tries not to get too flustered. He keeps thinking of what happened on that planet – not being injured, because that part sucked – of being held by strong arms and resting against a broad chest, of a deep and soothing voice, of having the illusion, just for a moment, that he was with the man he's been stupidly in love with for so long.

It's not good, and Pavel rational mind knows that. But his heart doesn't seem to care.

Len must misinterpret the look on his face, because the handsome doctor is frowning again.

"Are you still in pain, Pavel?"

"Nyet! I mean, no. No, I feel fine."

"Is there something you'd like to talk about?" To Pavel's horror and delight, Len sits down on the bed next to his hip. "Such an experience can be quite traumatic, and if you feel the need to tell someone about it, I'm here."

"No, I… I'm okay. I'm not… traumatized or anything like that. I'm glad to be back on the ship and I'm glad to know we're all alright."

"Good. That's good. Is there… maybe something else you'd like to discuss? Or someone you'd like to see? I can call for-"

"No! Really, it's fine."

Pavel fidgets with the thin sheet of his bed with trembling fingers and Len's strong hands still his own.

 _Дерьмо… (shit)  
_

"Look, I'm not very good with… feelings, and stuff like that, so it would be hypocrite from me to tell you you'd feel better if you talked about whatever's bothering you. But… maybe I wouldn't be such a grumpy old doctor if I had had the balls to talk to someone years ago. Don't keep everything inside, Pavel. It's not good for anyone."

"I can't talk to you because it's about you" Pavel blurts out, and then he wishes the ground would swallow him.

Len is looking completely bewildered.

"I'm not sure-"

"Don't worry, it's not important. Just a silly thing. I think I'm ready to go now."

Pavel tries to gather what is left of his dignity as well as his clothes, but two hands settle on his shoulders.

"Will you look at me?"

There's nowhere to escape, and Pavel is smart, smart enough to know that he will have to explain sooner or later. The Enterprise is big, but not that big.

"I just… I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway."

"I think it does, if it makes you unhappy. I just… have trouble to understand."

Pavel meet Len's eyes then.

"I think you do understand."

"I… shit, why me? I mean…"

"Why not?"

"I could give you a lot of reasons. Hell, everyone could give you a lot of reasons."

"Yes, well, I never cared about what _everyone_ thought all that much."

"Pavel… I'm not sure… I'm not sure I can give you what you want."

"I didn't ask for anything."

Len smiles and his hands travel from Pavel's shoulders to his neck, thumbs grazing the line of his jaw.

"No, you didn't. I suppose everything I could say about our ages or my past would be irrelevant in your eyes, wouldn't it?"

"Not irrelevant. It's part of who we are. But nothing you could say could change what I'm feeling."

"I… Jesus, kid, you don't do anything by halves, do you?"

"Not kid. Pavel."

"Yes. Pavel" Len whispers, and Pavel shivers. "God. This is probably a terrible idea."

Pavel's foolish heart skips a beat. Len doesn't sound… repulsed, or amused, or anything like that. And suddenly Pavel is feeling brave, brave enough to take a risk, brave enough to tell his hyperactive brain to shut up. He leans forward and quickly pecks the doctor's thin lips.

"I'm going to go now and rest as you told me to. Tomorrow night I'll be on the third floor, you know, where there is this huge glass panel. I like to go and watch the stars there. Come if you… I don't know, want to get to know me better? If you don't, it's okay, I'll know you're not interested."

And then Pavel flees Medbay as quickly as he's able to.

He can't help but smile all the way to his room.

Yes, he knows that Len is a complex man, deeply wounded by his divorce and the absence of his daughter. Yes, he's aware that the man could probably find a much more suitable partner – he's not even sure that the doctor has considered Pavel in a romantic way at all before. Probably not.

But maybe Len is right. Maybe there's truly always hope.

And tonight, Pavel is alive and well, he's safe on the Enterprise with his friends again, and nothing could prevent him from feeling hopeful. Not when Len's smile and warm brown eyes are imprinted in his brain, not when Len hasn't say 'no'.

He slips into his bed with a smile on his lips and, for once, his mind is blissfully silent.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters.

 **Warnings:** Slash (not graphic) / Mentions of violence

 **AN:** So, I had to write something from our good doctor's POV. Obviously. So here you are.

And if one of you knows is FILF is a thing, let me know. I'm too scared to Google it.

ST-ST-ST-ST

Leonard is aware that this is probably not a good idea.

Jim might have laughed at his predicament when he told him about Pavel's invitation, but he's quite certain that the captain would be less than pleased if he hurt the kid, even unintentionally. And Sulu would eviscerate him first and ask questions later, no doubt about that.

The thing is, Leonard has no idea what to think about the whole thing. Pavel is… Pavel is a fricking genius, that's what he is. He's a very attractive young man with his whole life ahead of him. Leonard has always known that – despite (or because of?) his age, Pavel is remarkable. During the two years they've spent on that damn tin can, he has proven himself countless times and only become more attractive. Leonard isn't blind and he can see the way many crewmembers look at the young man.

So, while Leonard knows all that, the idea of him and Pavel has never crossed his mind, mostly because it has never occurred to him that Pavel might be interested. The mere idea is laughable, but Leonard is fairly sure that it's not a prank: Pavel couldn't lie to save his life. The boy is all disarming honesty and delighted grins. No, the kid – shit, he must to think of him as a kid, that's not good for his mental health – is somehow convinced that Leonard fucking McCoy is a prize.  
Which he's not. He's bitter and sarcastic and too old for Pavel, and he might have an alcohol problem. Possibly. And he's divorced, and he's got a kid, for fuck's sake, and what the hell does Pavel see in him? Leonard lets his forehead rest against the tiny mirror of his bathroom and sighs. Maybe he's overthinking it. Maybe Pavel simply want to sleep with him, maybe it's like a kind of fetish. Like MILF, but for men, for fathers. FILF? Does that exist?

Shit, what he is even thinking about? He takes a deep breath and steps back a little, looking at his reflection. He looks like… fuck, he has no idea. He looks alright, maybe? His button-down is nice, and he's in reasonably good shape for someone who works too many hours and drinks too much Bourbon. He's got some wrinkles – Jim would say he shouldn't frown and worry so much, the bastard – but he's got all his hair and most of it is still brown. All in all, not too bad. If only he wasn't twice Pavel's age.

Fuck it, he's going anyway. Let's see what the kid – shit, here's that word again – has in mind.

ST-ST-ST-ST

Pavel is here. Standing in fitted trousers and a light blue polo shirt, his hair like a golden halo around his face.

Leonard is slightly surprised to see him after all. But no, the kid isn't like that. He's smiling, too, and there's a slight blush on his cheeks that cannot be fake. For some reason Leonard has to clear his throat.

"Hey."

"You came. That's – that's nice. I, uh, I have some Vodka and I tried to hack the Replimat to make some Pirojki, only I'm not sure how they turned out, but I guess I could always pick something else if it's no good, or-"

"Slow down, Pavel. It's great, really."

Strangely, seeing Pavel so nervous and flustered helps Leonard to calm down. The young man looks away and crosses his arms on his chest.

"I wanted to make something special, but… I have never done this before, and I don't know... I'm sorry."

Pavel looks sad and embarrassed. And that, well, that won't do.

"A picnic under the stars and Vodka? I think you did pretty well, Pavel."

And he did. Leonard can't remember someone doing something like that to him ever. It's kind of nice. More than kind of.

"Just one question. What the hell are Pirojki?"

Pavel's eyes widen before he launches himself in a detailed review of the Russian delicacies and why Russian food is the best. Leonard smiles to himself at the young man's flailing hands and animated face, because, just here, that's Pavel. They sit on the ground and share the dish – and it's good, really, but Leonard plans on making Pavel taste Southern food real soon – and pass the bottle of Vodka back and forth, and talk about where they come from and the last gossip on the ship.

It's nice, and it's easier that Leonard thought it would be.

Pavel is saying something about one of the stars out there, his eyes alight with passion, and Leonard can't resist. His hand comes up to cup Pavel's jaw and make him turn his head slightly, and he waits just long enough to see the kid's lips form a perfect 'O' of surprise before he kisses him.

It's slow and sweet, and Leonard realizes that when Pavel said he hadn't done this before, he wasn't only talking about the romantic date. It humbles him, to be the first to kiss such a perfect young man, and he takes care to keep it soft and tender. Pavel shifts until he's all but sitting in Leonard's lap, his lean arms around the doctor's neck.

Leonard breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against Pavel's.

"Hey."

Pavel chuckles, breathless and happy.

"Hey."

"How do you feel?"

"Good. Great. I mean, I don't think I have the words in English."

Leonard shakes his head to clear his mind, because, really, the idea that he could make someone like Pavel lose his words is a heady one.

"I'm not sure what you were expecting from me, Pavel, but... I don't do one-night stands. Never have. So if it's-"

Pavel draws back, looking stricken.

"What? No, that's not... That is not what I want. At all."

"Tell me what you want, then."

"Could we do this again?"

Leonard smiles.

"Like dating?"

"Yes. Yes, like dating. If you want."

"I'd like that very much, darlin'. Next time I'll cook you something. Good food from Georgia, you'll see."

Pavel beams at him, as if Leonard just gave him something precious, and the doctor's heart constricts almost painfully. Leonard kisses him again, because he's allowed to, apparently.

God knows he didn't expect much from life when Jim sat up next to him in that shuttle, all those years ago. But he found a new purpose, and a new family.

And maybe he can have this, as well. Maybe he can have some happiness again. Love, even. It doesn't seem that impossible now that he has Pavel in his arms and his soft lips on his own.

Jim's gonna be insufferable, though.


End file.
